Trust and Psychological Safety

Last year Linda Bishop (www.thoughtransformation.com) and I presented a webinar series on relationship-building strategies. Figuring prominently in this was the notion of trust—the sense of psychological safety essential to fostering strong, durable bonds, and highly productive collaborations.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be discussing trust.

Trust is an instinctual response. Policemen often refer to a gut-level reaction that sends up red flags when they sense—they just know—a suspect is lying. Something just doesn’t feel right (“hinky”). A cop’s professional skepticism and wariness would be a finely tuned radar; unlike the rest of us, they’re trained to not trust so readily.

No wonder: according to strategy + business, “…People start trusting someone before they even realize it. To some degree, at least, the placing of trust is not the result of a deliberate assessment, the researchers say, but of subconscious cues.”

Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff used this quite brazenly: by dropping famous names, he created an illusion of trustworthiness for his investors. (“Hey, if Spielberg’s investing with him, he must be good!”)

But what makes trust real and solid, and when is it bogus? What happens when trust is broken? How do you restore it? How can we tell if someone’s trustworthy or not?

In my work life, I’ve worked with people who were trustworthy to varying degrees. I’ve worked hard to make myself worthy of my clients’ trust and confidence. So I know this to be true: without trust, the world becomes a dark place, the simplest actions fraught with tension. With trust, you can get just about everything done, and have fun too, because relationships come out stronger at the end of every collaboration.

1,000 Paper Cranes for Japan

I’m convinced that people who feel like they don’t belong can become human bridges to enhance insight and understanding. The following interview with a Georgia public school teacher, Kyung Shin, discusses how she and her students responded to recent events in Japan. As a result of their 1,000 Paper Cranes for Japan campaign, over $1,000 was raised for Japan’s relief efforts. Sure, some of you could’ve written a check for as much, but this was a process of learning for the students—and for their teacher, one of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Why 1,000 paper cranes? In Japanese folklore, if you fold a thousand paper cranes, whatever you wish will come true.

Natural disasters happen frequently around the world. Can you talk about why Japan's tsunami-and-earthquake in particular resonated with you?

I had lived in Japan as a child (before moving to the United States at age 10).  I am Korean by heritage but still identify with Japanese culture, and I can speak the language. My dad and his wife currently reside in Tokyo. Most of my maternal relatives also live in Japan, primarily in the Kobe/Osaka region. 

I struggled with my identity as a Korean growing up in Japan, because my childhood wasn’t always so easy. (In 1910, Japan annexed Korea and many Koreans were brought over to Japan for forced labor. As a result, Koreans are still not accepted as equal citizens of Japan). As an adult, I have hurtful memories of discrimination and prejudice. 

Maybe this was a personal act of reconciliation: the tsunami/earthquake disaster opened my heart towards the Japanese.  I saw how desperately they need help, and realized that because I have this background of having been born and raised in Japan, I can act as an intermediary between the people here and those in Japan. So I acted on my conviction, compassion, and also heart for the Japanese, and launched the 1,000 Paper Cranes for Japan campaign at my school. 

What have you learned as a result of this effort?

Early in our campaign I did not believe my students could actually fold all 1,000 cranes because origami is not so easy for elementary students—but lo and behold, we did it! 

I think we made our goal because the children were motivated and very invested in this project, to help and to be compassionate. They understood why we were folding the cranes for Japan. We all learned a lesson of giving and compassion.  I’m humbled by the students’ response since many of our students come from communities in need of help themselves. 

What do you want others to know about 1,000 Paper Cranes for Japan?

We can make a difference, no matter how small our efforts may appear in the big scheme of things. We can influence and encourage others to do the same.  Also, for me personally, as we help others heal from their tragedies, we receive healing in return.

Your father flew out of Tokyo shortly before the tsunami and earthquake, then returned a week later to help his community. How’s he doing? What does he say about the situation?

My father is doing well, thanks. He says that the constant aftershocks leave him edgy and anxious but overall, life is normal (at least in Tokyo). Like everyone else in Japan, he is worried about the radiation. My dad is the pastor of a small congregation right outside of Tokyo and he and his wife are reaching out to the community with words of encouragement through the Gospel. He feels that this is what he could do best as a pastor, to love his community and bless them.

The Best Crisis Handling Solution is Prevention

Every organization will face a crisis at least once every three to five years. Its cause may be internal (lapsed judgment), or external (natural forces), but the best way to handle a crisis is to first anticipate it as fully as possible.

A naïve, passive, or myopic organizational culture will believe nothing bad can happen to it, because so far nothing has. Many organizations simply regard preventive measures with distaste, as if envisioning calamity is equal to inviting it.

But then look at what happened with the BP oil crisis. One of the dismaying aspects was public realization that BP had no “Plan B.” As oil gushed like blood from a wound, it became clear nobody at BP really knew how to respond, and that fueled public disgust with BP’s leadership. We need and expect leadership to know what to do when things hit the fan—but even more, to know how to anticipate and prevent such things from occurring.

The point of crisis handling is prevention, not to ask, “What could possibly happen?” but rather “What would be the consequences to this organization and its constituents if the worst possible thing did happen?”

For starters, posing a question like that gets brains at the table thinking about what those worst-case scenarios might even be. And from there you can block out crisis preparedness plans, and their corresponding messages to the public.

To avoid that analysis on the superstition that it would only invite trouble is . . . well, foolish, to say the least, and the last thing you want is to have your customers assume the role of warning alarms.

Post-incident, as company spokespeople waited on lawyers to vet hastily constructed messaging from PR professionals, plenty of customers have stood in front of TV mikes telling the public, “I warned them over and over again, it was a disaster waiting to happen!”

The Leader as “People Person”

Stadion CEO Tim Chapman advises young people entering the investment management business with this: “Remember there are people and stories behind those accounts. I’ve never had a client talk to me in [the language of the stock market]. What they do say is ‘I want to be able to retire...to educate my kids...’ so be a good people person.”

L for listening.

Without question, the best leaders are skilled listeners. Period.

E for engaging.

The writer Antoine St. Exupery said a leader could tell his people how to build boats, or teach them to love the sea. If the latter happens, those who follow will quickly—eagerly—learn everything they can about building boats, and they’ll learn a great deal about the sea as well. Managers engage their people at one level, for process improvement; leaders engage at another—for the longer view, the bigger picture, the enticing vision of what could be. Also, successful leaders are good at enhancing their customer’s vision of possibilities.

A for accountability.

People in formal roles of leadership can get away with a lot: the media is filled with stories of leaders who’ve helped themselves to company coffers, or we’ve worked for bosses who admonish employees for being slack or tardy while maintaining freewheeling work habits themselves. Bottom line: As a leader, you must be accountable in the same ways you’re holding your people accountable; and when it comes to customers, you must be consistent and disciplined in how you hold yourself accountable.

D for discretion.

I’ve talked with leaders who have no qualms about discussing their employees’ private lives and struggles. Some do this with compassion, in understanding the bigger picture of an individual’s life. Others trade in the currency of idle gossip. Gossip is natural—merely the way people connect to one another, especially in the workplace—but a leader who constantly dabbles in it is gambling with his authority. For a customer to know you’re into petty gossip triggers serious qualms about your professionalism.

E (again) for ego.

It’s natural for leaders to have large passions, but the successful ones balance their egos with constant self-reflection. They also surround themselves with loved ones who keep them grounded and help them through the most painful moments of self-reckoning. When it comes to customers, skilled leaders are, at their core, humble—not as a way of “sucking up,” but because they know their livelihoods would not exist otherwise.

R for reality-checking.

Leaders who surround themselves with sycophants and “yes men” are blocking off streams of crucial information. If informal advisors are driving away formal ones, if the ones in agreement with you are outnumbering those who maintain critical thinking positions, then you may have a problem on your hands, particularly if your advisors are blocking you from authentic customer insights (complaints). Surround yourself with people who aren’t afraid to tell you the truth as they see it. Deal real.

How Does a Leader Behave?

L for loneliness.

This is the first self-reflection and decision every leader faces. Major Dick Winters  (portrayed in “Band of Brothers”) reflected that he did not hang out with his men. He loved the men under his command, but maintained distance and detachment. Leadership can be an isolated and isolating role, so I always tell young and emerging leaders you can either be popular, or you can be a leader, but you can’t have both.

E for execution.

Sooner or later, action must be taken; plans must be executed. Leaders zero in on the deliverables, and how those can be achieved. Without this driving sense of execution, all you have is “panel discussion.”

A for acuity.

They’re visionary and intellectual; they like to see things evolve from one stage to the next. Leaders often see things others can’t; they maintain the proverbial “bigger picture” in their heads. Not everyone who “gets it” is a leader; but every effective leader I know is a person who “gets it.”

D for delegation.

Leaders understand delegation is for the greater good, not merely a mechanism of authority. Sure, it may be easier to just do the task yourself, but if you delegate, there’s substantial group learning to be gained. And it’s important to delegate tasks to the right individuals. Also, a strong leader understands that each of us needs time and space to use our imagination and creativity when asked to do a job, so once a task is delegated, they leave you alone to do it (which may be why my favorite leaders have not been micromanagers).

E (again) for ego.

Outsized egos may appear commanding, but egotistical leaders don’t last: sooner or later, their narcissism creates relationship failures. Seasoned leaders do not let power or authority go to their heads, and they don’t worry about who receives the credit. If they receive credit as an individual, they’ll quickly refer to the team effort.

R for respect, reflection, and resilience.

Again, I defer to Dick Winters, whose men often said they’d happily follow him into hell:

• You win respect not because of rank or position, but because you’re a leader of character.
• Look in the mirror every night and ask yourself if you did your best.
• Hang tough! Never, ever, give up.

What Defines a Leader?

Since challenging circumstances often need a variety of approaches, a leader is someone who sees and defines what has to be done, and then deploys the most suitable leadership approach so the goal of the mission is served, along with the needs of those who’ll be accountable for providing the solution.

A leader may not come up with the answer, but she’ll coach and support the collective search for it. A leader also tracks and observes group dynamics, to make sure people are assigned, included, and given safe forum to work out process problems.

A leader likes to execute, to take action, and to evaluate those actions so wasteful effort is eliminated, and successful actions studied for repetition and gain. 

The truly great leaders know to lead by example—perhaps in small acts of civility, such as making sure everyone gets heard, or intervening when tempers are starting to fray.

And, like literary heroes, any time a leader goes out on a limb to risk something, he takes what’s been learned back to the group so the lesson can be shared. Whatever benefits the group will not be jealously hoarded by a good leader as evidence of her own value. Great leaders share and spread credit as much as possible.

Typically our society has revered single-note leaders with that one winning formula, but as the world continues to change, we need as much versatility of thought and action from our leaders as we see in the diversity of humanity.

Leadership Series: Take Me to Your Leader

Within every workgroup, you have some staples: there’s the slacker, who can’t be counted on for anything except to show up when the job’s done, in an effort to soak up accolades…the willing but uninspired follower who’ll do whatever’s necessary, but has to be told what to do at every step…the constant critic, who knows how everything should be done, but isn’t crazy about assuming any real responsibilities because he’s already overcommitted to so many things requiring his brilliance.

And then there’s that mysterious, elusive character — the leader. Amid the flow of personalities and work, very few understand what it really means to be a leader.

Good leadership is often hard to define, but everyone knows when they’re working with a good leader just like they know when they’re operating in a leadership vacuum.

Some leaders are natural managers, which is the job of making sure processes are running efficiently and regularly improved.

Others are visionaries, less effective with day-to-day operations, but impressive innovators and new-thought pioneers.

There are contradictions as well: take-charge personalities don’t always make the best leaders, and folks who made straight A’s in school often become better specialists than generals of men and women.

Some group circumstances thrive from servant-leaders, those low-key people who bring up the rear rather than charge from the front, because that’s how they gather insight on what has to be done, and how it can be sustainably done. Individuals may have influence but few leadership skills, just as formal leaders may have authority but fail miserably at behaving responsibly.

And, very often, people with robust leadership abilities do not collaborate well with other strong leaders like themselves. Queen bees have been known to fight to the death.

So what’s a plausible working definition of a leader?

Over the next couple blogs, I’ll be discussing this.