From the Madcap Idealist: Civility Media

A feature of old-stick-in-the-mud-ism is to deplore what the world is coming to.


The world has come to social media. I don't deplore it. It's a wonderful thing, to join the ambient reality of another human being's experience of life, to have immediate access to their insights and perceptions, to invite them to join in yours. And I'm old enough to remember that prescient McLuhan phrase about a "global village." 


Here we are.


One small problem: We the villagers have lost sight of a community's dearest value and commodity. We've forgotten what it means to be civil.


We use social media as a hedge to hide behind, to launch commentary that exalts those who agree with us, and shames or excoriates those who do not. It's easy to search and find punditry and stats that support our opinions; much harder to convene opposing viewpoints and agendas, and discern common ground. 


Today, public discourse is more polarized and rancorous than most Baby Boomers have ever known, yet this democracy was based on our willingness and ability to hold public discourse, whether that occurred in a town square or a Facebook thread.


Without civility, we become not merely savage (eg, the bullying of bus monitor Karen Klein), but accepting of — and inured to — savagery. We adapt and learn to avoid those who disagree or challenge us, right when we could be learning from each other. We reTweet for respect because it's far easier to press the RT icon than to actually practice civility — day-to-day and face-to-face — with that colleague or neighbor who irks us because their beliefs run antithetical to our own.


Glibly we talk about love ("our hearts and prayers go out to..."), about coming together as an American family, and embrace each other at candelight vigils for the dead, but we won't afford each other the most common courtesies in the routine run of a day. (Or, as a friend of mine put it: "Given the guys I work with, sometimes it's like death by douchebag.")


Basic courtesy is a rational act of love — for yourself, your self-respect, as a functional villager. It's an act of love for your fellow villager, your family, your community. So while reTweeting for respect and sharing anti-violence memes on Facebook, why not ramp up a couple other actions?


Hold the door open for someone else. Give up your seat on the subway to someone who maybe needs it more. Don't walk away from the copier with the paper jam you just caused. React to inflammatory behaviors with restraint, not insult or denigration. Understand that someone who disagrees with your opinion likely has an intensely personal experience of the same issue — and that is worth respecting. Choose not to shun, goad, provoke, or even to raise your voice. Articulate your disagreement not with name-calling, but with facts, figures, compassion, and a desire to learn more. If you're active on social media, curate diverse points of view, not merely rallying those who agree with you. Become the example, because we really need good leaders right now.

It takes nothing to be kind. The alternative is far more costly: if July 20 in Aurora, Colorado, taught us anything, it's that the ultimate WMD may be a single human being, existing in isolation, fully alive only when online, twisted by rage and illness.

The Things (Some) Print Salespeople Do that Drive Me Nuts

I've bought printing for 30 years and certain sales behaviors separate the insightful professionals from the glorified messengers. This is not to be negative or "high maintenance" but here are some mistakes that are sure to alienate.


Be dismissive and discount the designer's role.
As a vendor, it's always wise to focus on the client but, as designer to that client, I've known print salespeople who blew off my phone calls, got tetchy over changes, or treated me as (their) personal production assistant ("Hey, can you email me those specs again? I can't seem to find the original..."). 


What they forget is that many times my questions are our client's questions; I am the client's representative. And courtesy counts: Don't talk down to me. (On one account, the salesperson recognized his mistake and sought to correct it with an assortment of rather slimy ingratiating behaviors, but you can't build a positive collaboration within days after years of rude self-interest. By the time he got it, it was too little, too late.)


Pass the buck (or: Make me do your job for you).
This is where the salesperson tells me, "Heck, I don't know nothin' about that, so lemme have you talk to Bob in our prepress department." A couple problems with this: (1) In some print shops, Bob has no experience talking to clients, nor are they a priority in his busy prepressed day; and (2) I've known some print salespeople to "follow up" with me by asking what Bob said — at which point the client and I find ourselves briefing two people who work within the same organization, but never bothered to check with each other before calling us.


Solution: As salesperson, you're the print team leader. Act like it. You conference-call the question-answer session so you're also in on the conversation when I confab with Bob from your prepress.


Don't jam up the delivery.
This is for your own good: If your delivery folks "misdeliver" a client's job, the seemingly harmless mistake can potentially "unsell" the hard work that came before in the sales, creative, and production cycle. Why? Because clients keep tab! Every time they have to put out an all-points-bulletin for a box of brochures that didn't arrive precisely, they'll factor such incidents into future decision-making (ie, How much of a hassle is it to rely on you?).


Precise delivery means a promise to the client has been kept: "On the 10th of October at 10 AM, the brochures will be delivered to office 1010 in your headquarters." Sloppy delivery means at 10:30 AM on October 11th, the client is in the mailroom begging a mailroom supervisor to help her go through 300 newly arrived boxes to see if her brochures might be in there....


Talk "teamwork" to my face and spread doubt behind my back.
Stay classy, OK? If you feel skeptical about my production specs, talk to me and let's work it out. If you feel the production schedule has you set up to fail, talk to me and let's work it out. But don't go behind my back alarming the client about the cost of a certain effect just because you don't want to run the job with it.


I suppose it's an inevitable joke that salespeople are aggressive and supremely self-confident, but when have these qualities alone ensured the success of a long-term relationship? Good salespeople are excellent listeners who put a premium on sensitive relational behaviors, and constant problem-solving for their clients. They're more consultative than cocky.

7 Habits of Exceptional Leaders

7. 

He understands the expertise and accolades that got him into his current position aren't the same skillset needed to be effective in the new leadership position.

6.

She practices the regular "walkabout" to learn how employees live out the work day. 

This is not to check on them, but to enhance relationships and understanding. 

(Ever work for a boss who holed up in her office all day and never appeared except to impart reproaches and bad news?)

5. 

He never forgets that his walk will far outweigh his talk. 

Smart leaders know that employees are more likely to be guided by 

close observations of the boss's actions. 

(Ever work for a manager who insisted on courteous behavior towards customers, then denigrated staff for minor transgressions? Pontificated about punctuality and a high work ethic, only to habitually come in late and leave early for personal reasons?)

4.

She's unfailingly courteous. She — or her proxies — promptly return calls and email. 

She's not so besotted with her own position that the basic thank-you note 

has fallen beneath her, and even if she's the most powerful person at the conference table, she will thank others for their time.

3. 

He constantly works at becoming a better listener.

Effective leaders will listen fully to your point of view, even if they disagree.

2.

She knows how to turn stated values into daily habits — 

not merely for her organization, but for herself first.

And the #1:

He's not so arrogant that he dismisses professional opinions and advisory from staff, 

at the same time he's seeking the same from peers, experts, specialists, and consultants.

What about you? 

Which qualities do you find most inspiring or engaging among the great leaders you've known? As a leader yourself, what works for you in motivating staff?

Intelligent Outrage: Taking Action

The worst possible outlook is indifference that says, “I can’t do anything about it; I’ll just get by.” Behaving like that deprives you of one of the essentials of being human: the capacity and the freedom to feel outraged. That freedom is indispensable, as is the political involvement that goes with it. 

(Stéphane Hessel, author of Indignez-vous! English title: A Time for Outrage)

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots….So my instruction to the class of ’07 [of Haverford College]: Go out there and raise hell. 

(Barbara Ehrenreich, journalist)

Our latest crop of politicians like to hark back to the Founding Fathers and point out how opposing policies and attitudes desecrate the intentions of those first patriots. So long as we’re re-imagining the past, I daresay the Founding Fathers would turn to the audience and ask, “Never mind what this legislator wants to do—how do you feel about it?” And the truth is that most of us wouldn't have an opinion, because most of us have disengaged from socio-political issues. (There are enough cranks and crusaders to go around; get out the nachos and let's see who's going to win tonight's reality-TV contest).

Life was meant to be more than reality TV

You don't have to do or say much, but you do have to take action. It needs to be legal, not violent, and it has to be articulated outrage. Write to your representatives. Donate time or money to a charity, cause, or political campaign. Get the other point of view on the issues; don't foster just like-minded "friends." The internet and social media enable socio-political narcissism; for any viewpoint you favor, you'll be able to find corroborating evidence. The challenge is to find content from opposing viewpoints. 

On social media sites like Facebook, position yourself as a curator of civilized discourse between opposing points of view. 

Find an issue that grips you and follow it: Is it public education? A local labor dispute? The quality of health care for the elderly?...What is the life span of this story in the news? Which reporters are tracking it and why? Which political leaders are positioned around it? And always, always, follow the money, because nothing gets done without adequate resources so if, for example, you feel irate over the quality of computers in your kids' school, maybe track how technology projects are funded in public education — locally, regionally, nationally. You don't need a ton of information, but you need to be more than a frustrated opinion.

Your outrage should speak to accountabilities, because history has shown that when there is no public outcry, crimes go unpunished, innocents are brutalized, and injustices become sanctioned by self-serving thugs masquerading as moral authorities. Simply put, we can no longer afford to be passive, overfed, complacent apathetics.

Where is your outrage?

Where was the public outcry—the outrage?

(Gretchen Morgenson, financial reporter, author of Reckless Endangerment, speaking on public reaction to Fannie Mae financial misconduct)

The opinions expressed below are mine alone: this is not a political blog, but I felt this detour needed to be taken. This needs to be said.

We Americans have become frightened of outrage: we assume it leads to violence. Currently, we’re tired and easily overwhelmed. We’re not merely physically exhausted, trying to dog-paddle our way through this economy, we’re also morally and spiritually worn out, having to witness the unscrupulous or self-serving behaviors around us.

Apathy is a placeholder emotion for extreme anger. Apathy makes passivity easier to handle—“I’m not doing anything about it because frankly I could care less”—yet the anger remains. It’s that sick feeling you experience when you read about another corrupt or inept leader, another convicted felon finagling the legal system to protect his own rights, another innocent victim.

There are people in the world doing wrong with complete impunity: Joseph Kony…Jeff Neely and his cronies at the GSA…perhaps, local to you, the director of a local school or nonprofit who’s using a discretionary slush fund to pay for his next family vacation. We don’t have to like it, and we can do something about it.

Let them know you are not going to put up with it. Blind, frantic outrage leads to violence. And then there's intelligent outrage. I say there’s nothing wrong with the latter. Outrage doesn’t have to lead to violence but to an expression of our rights and beliefs, supported by what Stéphane Hessel calls “a determined will.” How you choose to express your outrage is up to you, but intelligent outrage must bring people together around problem-solving—not divide, shame, or commit further violence against others.

We Americans were not intended to become well-heeled sheep, but to find our way through civil discourse and protest. This was supposed to be the land of solutions and remedies, not disgusted bystanders.

Next month: No more excuses—what to do with your outrage

Getting Out of the Trap of Overthinking

Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens [anxiety], fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative.

— Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky (Stanford University)

There’s a huge difference between giving a matter due diligence, versus overthinking it.

The problem for chronic overthinkers is that they believe in the process of overthinking and second-guessing protects projects and outcomes — thus, a smart checklist to follow. Not true.

           

So here are a few suggestions for letting yourself and others out of this trap:

           

If you find yourself feeling troubled, recognize there’s a difference between exercising self-knowledge and brooding. Turning inward cannot yield more creativity but endless, circular ruminations about wouldas, couldas, shouldas. Literally: get out. Get out of your own head. Refocus elsewhere. You may yet carry it in the back of your mind, but what you find in the outside world may ultimately inform what’s troubling you, and help you to overcome it.

           

Call it out if you see it happening within your workgroup. Group overthink kicks up anxious variables like a careening car kicks up gravel. Without appearing dismissive of anyone’s concerns, hold up your hands and say, “Whoa, we may be overthinking this.” Instead, remind the group of intended goals and priorities. If group overthink persists, ask how those objectives will be served by answering all qualms.

           

Steer clear of people and situations that chronically lead to overthink. Overthinking bosses and clients lead internal lives of frantic anxiety and repeatedly lose focus and clarity about intentional goals. Many are convinced, all evidence to the contrary, that they’ve been “set up to fail.” They’re unwilling to confront that which makes them anxious, and may even believe their cautionary role adds to their value and importance. Their thinking falls into biased grooves, which means creative problem-solving is shut out in favor of formulaic solutions that have worked in the past. The most egregious overthinkers become passionate about blame assignments (because their motivations are fraught with anxiety, they seek to deflect blame). It’s your call how long you can work within this no-win situation. Personally, what frustrates me about rabid overthinkers is that they never address themselves to the problems—usually only to picking apart solutions once provided by others.

Marketing research cannot guarantee 100% of the answers 100% of the time. In business, taking calculated risks is better than doing nothing at all. Sometimes, folks, life is just a (calculated) toss of the dice.

The Perils of Overthinking

As a creative, I’ve witnessed this in spades, both in myself and in others. So what is it?

Overthinking is taking something simple and straightforward, and beating it to death with an over-analysis of questions and “what ifs” that seek to illuminate the issue at hand, but instead leads it into more confusion. It usually occurs when the overthinker’s stressed and trying to do some “on the other hand” forecasting, to anticipate pitfalls and objections.

           

Overthinking occurs when:

                       

•  There’s an anxious need to control outcomes. A direct-mail piece is going out, and someone on yours or the client’s team is worried about “how everyone will react” to a visual element or a phrase in the copy. What’s more, they ask questions like, “How do you think everyone will respond to this?” (re: a mailing list of 375,000 names)….

           

•  The individual doesn’t know what they’re doing. Micromanagement occurs when the individual doesn’t understand — or hasn’t been properly trained to do — their jobs, so there’s an escalating need to control, to predict, and to analyze every detail for every possible contingency. It’s a tortured way to live and work — chasing the unknowables, seeking pat answers to open-ended questions, spreading anxiety around to others.

           

•  The overthinker was once praised for detailed analysis, but it’s become a chronic habit of diminishing returns. Not every situation requires the same level of analysis, and most professionals know that. The danger of overthinking is that you lose sight of what’s really important — eg, as staff is sent out to research answers or to confirm endless variables, deadlines are missed, opportunities forfeited, budget dollars expended. In my career, I’ve seen more money and man-hours wasted on the “due diligence” required by a single overthinker, than any dollars spent on actual production. Savvy business professionals learn to take calculated risks; overthinkers ask for implausible guarantees.

           

Next week — how to let yourself and others out of this trap called overthinking.